SWN lots of resistance but no fall – most of the market fell – lost 40% of my account

So my gamble since let’s face it was a gamble that SWN showing tons of resistance to move higher and looking weak with lots of negative market pessimism would fall another .50-1.00 but didn’t. Sucks. My options immediately fell around 25%. I waited to see by 1pm if the market would head down which is did. Most stocks went negative except for my cheery SWN. Damn you SWN. The retail sales report which was slightly positive on Monday did not help me either wanting the market to dump stocks. I’ll take this loss in pride since I did sell out and did what I planned to do if wrong instead of taking a 100% loss. So now back to around $380 to trade. I’ve lost any profits I’ve made and with a smaller account makes it even harder to purchase in-the-money options. Yes, both plays I’ve done were out of the money options. I basically have enough for one contract. I need to look for a “great” play. I suppose I should always be looking for “great” plays to trade. I haven’t practiced trade in a while and I’m talking a few months then dived back into real money trades. Yes, I’m broke and yes nothing in my life is working out. I always thought or you would think if you are nice and volunteer all your time because you are unemployed something great would happen. Opportunities would burst into the air. The smell of green backs would rest on your pillow. No no no! I don’t think this trade was dumb. I did calculate my probabilities and even I know going into the trade I might only have a 25% being right since on Monday’s options usually going way down in value since the weekend past and time-value has decreased so if I’m wrong I’m really wrong. Well I’m getting better at control even if I’m losing money on this trade I showed myself I could sell at a loss instead of a 100% loss. Plus I’m trading money I shouldn’t even be trading. However I say fuck it because I need to go for gold.