personal crisis

I sleep over 12 hours a day. Is there something wrong with me? Yes.

So I sleep in around 12-15 hours a day. Since there are only 24 hours in a day I’m actually only consciously currently living realistically only around 8-12 hours of the day. I moved to Scotland to get out of New York City. Everyone I call and talk to tell me how excited and fun they would think it would be. I didn’t even really think that way when I considered moving her on a spontaneous random whim. I really don’t understand myself. I Just don’t want to wakeup to my reality.

Sometimes I think I am dreadfully depressed. With this thought I really want medically marijuana just to get high and laugh really hard at sitcoms and comedy movies being fuzzy and high. However, I don’t live in California and I really don’t have any great weed hookups anywhere. I’m not even a pothead. I suppose I’d prefer natural high over medications that have a list of side effects just to make you less depressed.

I find myself to level headed to consider myself a depressed person. You see, that is the problem. When you are not either or you are in a constant dilemma with your mood. Sometimes I just want to shout, “Someone help me! Someone hug me! Fuck me! Be my friend and hangout with me!” blah blah blah. I’m sure you have been there. I dread being so lonely and unexcited about my environment that is suppose to be so exciting told to me by everyone that learns of the position I put myself in.

I’ve thought about suicide. I’m a complete ultimate fiasco of a failure by any American success story. I suppose since I was brought up Catholic and all I know of the more spiritual world and reincarnation is that is suicide really worth it? I really don’t want to goto purgatory and be stuck in my current thoughts. I also don’t want to be reincarnated as a mentally challenged, disabled, or bug. No thanks. I want to die being free and maybe just get to chill out for a few centuries with some hot babes that are angels. I thought if I did just end this silly life I’d do it by sky diving. I have a fear of heights, but it would be pretty almost to fly and drop down for a few minutes before I flattened myself like a pancake.

But I must get it together. I must finish my writing, a film or two, continue to trade the stock market, and continue to go mad going after the American dream I’ve been brainwashed so well with growing up watching Saturday morning cartoons. I don’t know it just might be Scotland weather…

scatter brained to the max, anxiety LOTS, work done? NONE

Well I’m still stuck in San Francisco dry dock with my ship getting worked on.  I thought taking a load of four college classes was a great idea at the time before I left to keep me busy.  Well……..the classes have kept me busy, too busy.  I’m retaking Principles of Accounting and falling miserably behind.  I have such a tremendous time focusing on studying and understanding what I’m reading.  I’d say the bigger problem is all these fantasies running around in my head about starting up a new business and buying a 3rd investment property in Louisville, KY where I plan to move to in August 09′.

I am physically and mentally becoming drained from coming up with multiple scenarios and my thought process in my head runs like this 24/7 nonstop EVEN IN MY SLEEP I’m coming up with scenarios, themes, ex:

“of what I’m going to do, where I’m going to work, where I’m going to live, if I’m going to have time to date, will my friend and I actually play in a band together, will we drive each other nutts, am I going to struggle financially, will I get paid well enough through working a side job, should I join the reserves there, will a business work, where should I locate my business, what type of business should I have, what am I good at, what do I consistently suck at, why can’t I just focus on one thing at a time, am I going to lose weight and feel better, should I take depression pills, what do I have to do to get approved for a bank loan towards my business, will my GPA be so low I won’t be accepted into an MBA program when I’m done with accounting, should I just go to community college, should I just take fun hands on classes, should I buy a foreclosed home, what side of the city is better, is this account a credit or debit, should I give up on my classes, do my teachers even know I’m not even trying, should I listen to music while studying or should I not, wear ear plugs, will have all this work done before the Giants game, will I pass these tests, I feel tired, should I just go to bed, will I have enough time tomorrow to finish my homework, man I love to sing and play guitar, will I be successful in Louisville, will it all happen there finally?”

I wonder why I’m exhausted all the time.  It’s just that life is short, sure you have lots of time, but it just goes so quickly!

Recently on my “to do list” is:

Start a self help site on changing careers because I’m doing just that and it can be pretty complicated and tiring if you don’t know what you are going to do with your life.

Completing my 4 classes successful and not failing them.  I had a 3.4 GPA.  That shit is going down, sadly.  Now I just want to pass these mother fuckers and be out.  Just focus on my upcomming masters classes in psychology and my future classes in carpentry, plumbing, electrical, and culinary arts.  If I am going to Louisville I suppose my plan for an MBA is off so I might as well stop taking preporatory classes for it.

whoah, do you ever have this problem?  -p

Bad news – Property management gone hectic – oh crap.

Well yesterday I found out my 2nd property manager for my Savannah Mobile Home Park has been quite possibly stealing money from me from the get go. I found both property managers a bit unreliable and unmotivated. My property could potentially offer them around $450/month commission or 10%, but I consistently received weak results off them even with much full paper advertising.

Recently I decided to sell the park back to the intial seller and received $5000 back and the complete mortgage financed would be considered paid/cleared. He tells me the current property manage has rented out more and collecting rent even though he has been telling me only 1-2 have been rented (I have 7 total trailers and 3 lots to rent). I was a bit amazed because I thought I was personally failing and all the money I was putting into the park kept bringing back bad results.

So I found out I was earning around $2500/month in income from collected rents but I was only received around $200-500 from the property manager. I was told he couldn’t get them rented. I’m currently underway in Alaska. I can’t see the property so I have to go on the property manager being honest collecting his share and depositing the rest. So this whole entire time I could of been earning a $1000 profit. This is what I expected when I bought the property and thought it was a good deal. I feel so used, but I have to accept the responsibility and loss just because my judgement was bad. I’m still following through and selling the park back. Even with it really being profitable and being lied to I can’t risk using a 3rd property manager not being able to visit and see the rents collected myself. I’ve already spent over $22,000 renovating, down payment, and utilities paying for the park. I can’t accept any more losses. Now if I did have a trust worthy property manager it would have been a great choice to buy the park and long-term profitable for retirement option.

I do have another property manager in Hampton, VA. The honor code is the same with her, but she has always deposited full rent and kept me in knowledge on anything happening. I listed the property with her to sell and even offered her to take 1 full months rent for herself because I took it off the listing. She also takes NO commission for just depositing the money. She only collects a 10% commission when she has to work with the tenant, repairs, or any other work. I’m lucky to have her and hopefully our honest relationship will continue for many more years.

So will this prevent me from buying another big property with many units? No. But I feel any mobile home park OR multi-unit property I plan to manage completely myself for my next purchase. I suppose when you are collecting 4-10 rents property management becomes different and the likely hood to steal is higher. I had no idea this 2nd property manager was stealing rents even when I was paying him labor for everything he did. I’ve come to a conclusion for the 3 months I was using him he profited around $3000 while I lost that much. There were red flags. For one thing the utility bills were high and I kept questioning him why. I couldn’t be there to check so I figured it was just the cold weather.

well another wise lesson learned. I’m a bit relieved of the -$80,000 in debt since selling the park back. Sure I lost around -$18,000 within I’d say 7 months of owning it.
From start to finish consider getting rid of it I lost about -$1500 each money, whereas if I had an honest property manager I would of been earning +$500-1000/month a solid 50% ROI monthly and around 100% ROI for my initial investment of $10,000 down on it. Not bad for a 27 year old that never even visited the property/problem – error #1.

I wish I had tight friend, real business people in the states, and a family that supported me. None of my family members or siblings would go to the property and help me get it started for any of the amount of the time even when I offered a long-term share in monthly profits. In business I’ve learned years before you can’t rely on family members. It’s up to myself to become successful even if its really hard sometimes and the mistakes are very costly.

Has this ever happened to you on a real estate investment? Do you think I’m stupid or smart for trying to do this investment being an out of state investor? I’ve found I can’t rely on other business professionals. How about yourself?