Mad with myself, Internet Droid I am. – NTRI 17.5 Aug Puts

Okay you know you are an internet droid when you can not stop physically leave the computer for a bathroom break. At a certain point of needing to take a major dump, you can physically feel your terd and hearing it say, “hey let me out, make me happy and free” because you are so fully involved in searching the internet for “nothing”. I sit here at my watch on work and it has been almost 8 hours non-stop searching through various craiglist.org categories for some internet treasure whether it be the “Free” Ads or “Talent gig’s” even though I really have zero talent. Even when it comes to finances I’m really no ninja yet. I am on my path to becoming a real ninja master. I’m daily assassined by masters of the markets.

I mean what have I really accomplished in the past hours and hours browsing the internet for nothing? I’ve replied to 50 something free listings, looked at 10 real estate properties I can’t afford at the moment to invest in, wrote 10 e-mails to people I don’t even get a real response back from, ate one cherry blow pop, drank 1 red bull, 1 dr. pepper soda, opened 4 pieces of mail, checked all my online bank accounts, read some blogs, and now I’m eating French Burnt Peanuts…

I’m mad with myself lately because I’m in NTRI 17.5 Aug Puts. I thought it was a great play. All the charts were down, but now can I be wrong? My options are likely down 50%. I couldn’t stay and watch them so I could not get out. What I’m mad most about is the market. This stock popped up in the last half hour yesterday and for what??? The general market went up but no news would have made this stock go up so much. What is more interesting is that it went down the same amount it went up! This same thing happened the day before but it ended up opening higher anyway. I really don’t ever understand stocks, maybe you don’t have to be a great options trader. One thing I do know is if I don’t get down a good method of being able to constantly be profitable I’m going to be forced to stay within the military another 4 years. I want success in my life just as my poop wants to finally exit my body and be flushed down some mysterious black hole into it’s own heaven of poopy friends.

So as I listen to some old dramatic Moby eating French Burnt Peanuts I wonder what the world awaits for me, but I already know it doesn’t have anything waiting for me except myself to create whatever I want to happen is up to me! And that sucks sometimes when you are more of an itnernet droid then an internet creator. I think I’m much better at making things happen for others and helping them create great worlds then create my own. I don’t know if this is a curse or just needing to find the flower spray to clean up the smell of my own poop that has become like a slave stuck to my toilet.

Anyone have any suggestions for talent-less people who are good at inspiring others, but have a hard time inspiring a bit of real tangible success in their own lives?